Spending time in solitude can be one of the most challenging tasks we can face as humans. Our thoughts tend to get louder when we are alone, which is why being around a crowd can be comforting. Although sharing time with those we love is necessary, nourishing our relationship with ourselves is crucial as well. 

How well do you know yourself? 

Why do you like the things you are fond of? 

What is your personality like?

What about your soul?

Who are you?

How often do you ask yourself these questions? 

The people you love and confide in are probably individuals you have gotten to know pretty well. You might have spent a lot of time getting to know their type of mentality, their likes, and dislikes because you’ve dedicated enough time to decipher them. Truly, we cannot get to know someone else without communication. With this logic, we can conclude that this also applies to the relationship we have with ourselves. How much time have we spent building a relationship with our being?

This is a question only each one of us can answer. It makes sense, though, doesn’t it? How can we know ourselves if we do not take the time to ask ourselves questions and listen to our internal dialogue? This is why alone time is vital. The more time we spend in solitude, the more we can understand who we are. 

Alone time allows us to see what we have ignored. 

How many times have you found yourself feeling in a funk without apparent reason? Well, there is always a reason, but if we don’t take the time to retrospect our day, we can become victims of the “flow.” Going with the flow seems nice until we realize that we are giving away our power. By simple introspection, we can understand that sometimes, our actions and thoughts can create unpleasant results that can we can easily avoid in the future. We can also discover how to manipulate our lives in ways that will produce a better outcome for us by acting with will-driven intention. 

Solitude is also a great way to develop self-love.

When we avoid contact with our Selves, our self-esteem and ability to be happy depends on our friends, the weather, the circumstances of the world, and anything else but us. Nevertheless, as much as we want to ignore ourselves, that little voice in our head is the only constant that will ever be present in our lives. We cannot escape it, so we might as well make peace with it. 

You know how you’ve learned to accept your loved ones with their defects and imperfections because you’ve gotten to know and love them?

The same can happen when we spend time getting to know ourselves. When we get to meet the core of our Being, we can find many beautiful qualities that we were never aware of. When we allow the child within us to speak, we realize that we are far greater than we ever gave ourselves credit for.

Of course, we cannot deny that negativity exists inside us as well, but by sitting down with ourselves and trying to understand why we are the way we are, we can come to face the answers we’ve been seeking our whole lives. We might comprehend that many of our coping mechanisms are just masks we used as protection but aren’t truly us. With this information, we can learn to have compassion for ourselves because we have only been trying to manage our ordeals the best way we knew how to. 

Solitude is a gift. Like a knight who must slay the dragon to rescue the princess, we must go inside the darkness of our Being to retrieve the light. Being alone isn’t easy, and it can even be scary at times, but there is nothing more rewarding than living life conscious of who we are. They say that if we wish to know God, we must first know ourselves. The answers we seek are ever-present. All we must do is go within.  

We have made a free worksheet for you that partners well with this topic. Check it out here if you wish to get to know yourself a little better!

Our thoughts are the foundation of our emotional stability. We simply don’t feel joy or despair without reason. Our state of being is something that is cultivated.

Observe your mind. How many times do you destroy someone with your derogatory thoughts towards them? How often do you complain or judge the situations you are in?

If we observe how we think, we can understand how our minds are repeatedly creating suffering. When we think negatively of others, we are creating anger, resentment, and emotions that will inevitably cause pain. If we complain inside our minds rather than accept what we are given, we are creating feelings of dissatisfaction and ingratitude.

We are constantly building our reality through the thoughts we generate.

And the thoughts we produce are affected by many factors we want to be aware of. How often are you exposing yourself to gory violence on tv? What about pornography and lust? How much time do you spend watching the news and fearing for your wellbeing after watching a tragedy that happened thousands of miles away from you?

In today’s society, our thoughts are being influenced more than ever. It is why we have nightmares and “inexplicable” desires or fears. If we aren’t aware, we’ll be puppets of whatever anyone wants us to think or be.

Guarding our mind is of utmost importance if we wish to be at peace. We want to be “picky” and choose to surround ourselves with people, places, and ideas that will bring us serenity. If we drift along with the waves of our uncontrolled thoughts, they will take us into deep, dark waters of affliction. We want to remain conscious.

Become aware of what you’re exposing yourself to. Observe the negative chatter in your head and decide to stop indulging in it. Make the conscious decision to take control of your ship. This is how we change ourselves. This is how we shift the dialogue. We can either feed ourselves with garbage or with light and higher virtues. Don’t let your mind go on autopilot. Know exactly who is in charge.

“What goes around, comes around”
“We reap what we sow”
“Where there is an action, there must be an equal or greater reaction”

Whatever we want to call it, everything we do has a consequence.

The concept of “karma” is one of the simplest yet most profound laws of the Universe. Most of us understand that everything has a cause and an effect, yet we still lack true comprehension of this. Otherwise, we wouldn’t act in harmful ways towards ourselves and others.

For those unfamiliar with the concept, we can easily see this law in the simple act of kicking a ball. As we exert force on the ball, it will inevitably move. All inanimate objects are bound to universal laws and so are we.

If we overeat we’ll gain weight.
If we drink too much we’ll get sick.

But karma isn’t bound to the physical world. It affects dimensions far more subtle than this one. Have you ever thought about the effects of your thoughts or your words?

Everything we do has an effect.

If we lie, we’ll exude dishonesty through our aura. We can cause pain to whoever we are lying to and even harm those close to them who are affected by their sorrow. A simple lie seems innocent at a glance, but if we look deeper, we can recognize the ripple effects reaching individuals we would’ve never imagined would become affected.

What about our thoughts? Our thoughts have energy as well, and we cannot be thinking offensive thoughts all day without a consequence.

Some people create physical illnesses that appear to be “random” and have no explanation. Others may experience shifts in their energy. This is why all people have a different “feel” to them, and you can sometimes tell whether someone is happy, angry, or even jealous without having to exchange a word with them.

Everything has a cause.

When we look into all situations, it is clear that nothing is random. We want to recognize this in our daily lives. Why do we suffer? Why do we suddenly feel down and depressed? We can only understand our suffering through the observation of our thoughts and actions.

As humans, we are bound to the laws, but that doesn’t mean we can’t use them to our advantage. What kind of life do we want to live? Some circumstances are beyond our control, but we certainly don’t want to make life harder by creating additional pain.

Observe yourself constantly. Be a watcher of your thoughts and consciously decide the type of person you wish to be. Every moment you are given the chance to think and act better. What kind of harvest do you wish to reap?

In recent years, meditation has increased in popularity. The worldwide known practice is no longer associated only with those seeking a spiritual transformation. More people are increasingly becoming aware of their lack of peace and meditation has proven to be a great tool to gain some sanity.

As many embark on their meditational journey, eagerness and determination fuel their path. Unfortunately, many also quit after some time, realizing that they haven’t made much progress in their lives. The reason is simple. Meditation as a calming and relaxation practice is necessary, but with retrospection, we can trigger true internal change to take place in our lives.

What is retrospection and how is it different from a calming meditation?

When we calm ourselves by breathing or by listening to a guided meditation, we can slow down and think with more clarity. This is certainly beneficial because by taking a break, we are giving ourselves time to react to life consciously rather than on impulse. Nevertheless, a test of conscience is required if we want to understand what is making us lose our peace in the first place. This is where retrospection comes in.

The practice of retrospection is easy.

To begin, we want to relax the mind. Once we are in a state of peace, we want to envision our day from the moment we wake up to where we presently reside. Now, we simply witness what is happening. We don’t want to fantasize, only to observe actual facts. It is best if we practice at the end of each day so we can analyze ourselves thoroughly.

Observing our day can be uncomfortable. There are many times when we’ll see ourselves acting in ways that don’t resonate with our Being, and this causes great pain. Meditate on how you could’ve acted better on those occasions. The key is to learn from those moments so that you can react better the next time you are faced with a similar situation.

If we are honest with ourselves, we’ll realize the many times our thoughts and actions aren’t congruent with those of a higher being. This newfound awareness can cause great change in us. It is only through accountability that we give ourselves the chance to improve.

Life is cyclical. We tend to fall into the same psychological patterns that have been causing us pain since we were young, but by practicing retrospection, we can break those cycles. Of course, it takes courage to look at ourselves for who we truly are. But with this practice, we have the power to create new pathways that will lead us to find peace & understanding of our Selves.

Our entire lives, we have been bombarded with romance. As children, we are soon introduced to the cute princess who is rescued by the prince living in a fancy castle who one day comes and takes her to live happily ever after. The prince, of course, is charming in appearance and has great social status. Couple goals…? Am I right…? But what about the couple’s chemistry? Their ethical values? Their life purpose beyond the picture-perfect image of “love”?

This may seem like a silly example. But somehow, we move into adulthood and our superficial longing for love hasn’t changed much since we were children. We crave a man or woman with the perfect body, a high social status, a big house, great style, and whatever other properties we believe makes our partner a worthy prospect.

These are all great standards if we are looking for a person to be our trophy, but otherwise, they are empty qualities that will never satisfy our craving for human connection. This is why many relationships fail these days. We cannot expect to have a successful bond if we trade true chemistry for superficial attributes that will only feed our ego. If we wish to find a successful partner, we have to open our hearts and meet others as Souls rather than bodies.

What not many of us know is that we must find permanency in a partner if we truly wish to be happy. Beauty will surely fade with age and money can only buy us so much until we recognize that it cannot give us true bliss. All we’ll ever have for granted is the other person’s character and their Soul, which will abide with them for as long as we remain together.

This is why we need to be aware to seek someone who will satisfy us at a deeper level. We need to look for qualities that will transcend the physical. So what should we look for in a partner if we wish to truly be happy with them? We’ll give you a few pointers that can help you on your journey to find the “perfect” fit:

1. Chemistry

There exists an unspoken bond between humans that cannot be explained in words. We tend to call it “chemistry”, and it is essential if we wish to express ourselves freely with someone else. Chemistry is being able to be yourself around another individual without feeling judged. It is revealing your Soul without any vails because you feel protected. It is being understood because someone else speaks your same language.

This is something only you will know if it’s there, and no one can tell you whether it is right or wrong because it can only be felt with the Being. It is like finding yourself back at home in a “oneness” that you’ve never experienced before.

2. Ethics

Of course, chemistry is necessary for obvious reasons, but without ethics, a relationship can crumble no matter how strong of a connection exists. We want a partner who has ethics because that means they are an honest person. They do what is right because they have a greater obligation with their Soul. This specific motive is very important because when someone is guided by a higher purpose, they have true integrity that cannot be broke. It means they are worthy of being trusted, and they will act as they speak.

A person who has strong ethics understands that their actions are bound to the laws of cause and effect. Thus cheating for them is not an option and they will remain loyal because breaking a commitment is a betrayal to their own Being. Ethical people are also constantly improving themselves, meaning that your relationship will get better with time. Relationships without ethics regress when the superficial lust attraction diminishes. But ethics creates a strong bond between the two people which will naturally strengthen with the development of each individual.

3. Be, yourself, the person you are looking for

We have many requirements for our partner, but are we even close to the person we are seeking? It is quite hypocritical to be looking for the perfect person if we, ourselves, aren’t perfect or at least trying to enhance our lives every day.

We must also become people who have the goal of moving forward and improving at every fall. We want to have a strong ethical foundation as well because we want to exude the honesty, respect, and integrity that will make us a good partner for our significant other. We cannot expect to be treated like royalty while treating our companion poorly in return. We have to constantly keep growing and becoming better humans. This is the only way we will undoubtedly move towards a more rewarding relationship together.

Relationships aren’t easy, and none are perfect regardless of how they may appear on the outside. But some qualities can make the difference between a failed relationship and one that will last a lifetime. We want our partner to be someone who we can share our life with. We want to experience our joys, our losses and all the existential moments that make us humans together. Meditate on what makes your Soul happy. It is tempting to think that a partner with superficial perfection will satisfy us, but don’t forget that we are Spirits at our core. And there are crevices inside our Being that can only be filled by true Love.