Our entire lives, we have been bombarded with romance. As children, we are soon introduced to the cute princess who is rescued by the prince living in a fancy castle who one day comes and takes her to live happily ever after. The prince, of course, is charming in appearance and has great social status. Couple goals…? Am I right…? But what about the couple’s chemistry? Their ethical values? Their life purpose beyond the picture-perfect image of “love”?

This may seem like a silly example. But somehow, we move into adulthood and our superficial longing for love hasn’t changed much since we were children. We crave a man or woman with the perfect body, a high social status, a big house, great style, and whatever other properties we believe makes our partner a worthy prospect.

These are all great standards if we are looking for a person to be our trophy, but otherwise, they are empty qualities that will never satisfy our craving for human connection. This is why many relationships fail these days. We cannot expect to have a successful bond if we trade true chemistry for superficial attributes that will only feed our ego. If we wish to find a successful partner, we have to open our hearts and meet others as Souls rather than bodies.

What not many of us know is that we must find permanency in a partner if we truly wish to be happy. Beauty will surely fade with age and money can only buy us so much until we recognize that it cannot give us true bliss. All we’ll ever have for granted is the other person’s character and their Soul, which will abide with them for as long as we remain together.

This is why we need to be aware to seek someone who will satisfy us at a deeper level. We need to look for qualities that will transcend the physical. So what should we look for in a partner if we wish to truly be happy with them? We’ll give you a few pointers that can help you on your journey to find the “perfect” fit:

1. Chemistry

There exists an unspoken bond between humans that cannot be explained in words. We tend to call it “chemistry”, and it is essential if we wish to express ourselves freely with someone else. Chemistry is being able to be yourself around another individual without feeling judged. It is revealing your Soul without any vails because you feel protected. It is being understood because someone else speaks your same language.

This is something only you will know if it’s there, and no one can tell you whether it is right or wrong because it can only be felt with the Being. It is like finding yourself back at home in a “oneness” that you’ve never experienced before.

2. Ethics

Of course, chemistry is necessary for obvious reasons, but without ethics, a relationship can crumble no matter how strong of a connection exists. We want a partner who has ethics because that means they are an honest person. They do what is right because they have a greater obligation with their Soul. This specific motive is very important because when someone is guided by a higher purpose, they have true integrity that cannot be broke. It means they are worthy of being trusted, and they will act as they speak.

A person who has strong ethics understands that their actions are bound to the laws of cause and effect. Thus cheating for them is not an option and they will remain loyal because breaking a commitment is a betrayal to their own Being. Ethical people are also constantly improving themselves, meaning that your relationship will get better with time. Relationships without ethics regress when the superficial lust attraction diminishes. But ethics creates a strong bond between the two people which will naturally strengthen with the development of each individual.

3. Be, yourself, the person you are looking for

We have many requirements for our partner, but are we even close to the person we are seeking? It is quite hypocritical to be looking for the perfect person if we, ourselves, aren’t perfect or at least trying to enhance our lives every day.

We must also become people who have the goal of moving forward and improving at every fall. We want to have a strong ethical foundation as well because we want to exude the honesty, respect, and integrity that will make us a good partner for our significant other. We cannot expect to be treated like royalty while treating our companion poorly in return. We have to constantly keep growing and becoming better humans. This is the only way we will undoubtedly move towards a more rewarding relationship together.

Relationships aren’t easy, and none are perfect regardless of how they may appear on the outside. But some qualities can make the difference between a failed relationship and one that will last a lifetime. We want our partner to be someone who we can share our life with. We want to experience our joys, our losses and all the existential moments that make us humans together. Meditate on what makes your Soul happy. It is tempting to think that a partner with superficial perfection will satisfy us, but don’t forget that we are Spirits at our core. And there are crevices inside our Being that can only be filled by true Love.